Aishite Imasu.

January 24, 2008

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The day you asked me if I was willing to be with you is still fresh in my head. You asked me if you could keep me for real. I just said “yes.” I never really thought you would. I thought those were just the same old sweet words that would turn bitter in the end. I thought those words were just lies that would crush me into pieces. I did not care. I did not care until I realized I needed someone like you in my life. I did not care until I found out those were real. I did not care. Really.

Funny how I realize it’s been a month. Funny how the bond’s still there though we seldom see each other. Funny how you still keep me though we seldom talk and communicate. Funny how I still care for you though we are the only ones who know. Funny, indeed.

I still laugh thinking about the old days. I just laugh when I think of the times when we were not able to spend time together. I just chuckle when I think of the times when we pretended to be someone else, and told each other how we feel. Thinking of the inane things we’ve done – from jumping off the bridge together to giving free gate passes – have me in stitches. I just burst into a loud guffaw when I think of the days we had little arguments. I just giggle when you told me you love me, and you chose to love me. I just grin, then laugh, because you were so mysterious that I never really thought I have you right now.

And, I was thinking. What if I don’t have you, or you don’t have me? Life would never be the same, I figured. The sun would not shine the brightest, I guess. The sky would turn grey. Rainbows would be tinted with black and white. See? Life would be dull. Lacklustre. Lethargic. Inanimate.

So, please stay. Why? Because I don’t want to hurt myself again. Worst, if I do, there’s no one to blame. I’m just kidding. Hehe. 😆

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