For a moment…

February 27, 2008

I will bid wordpress adieu. And for a moment, there will be farewell, and silence in this blogosphere. But my heart will always hold dear memories. Though it would not want to say goodbye, it has to. I will have to spend more time contemplating on things that need to be thought of; things that need to be put an end; things that need to be wrapped up.

Lately, I had been lying low, and some things did not turn out well. So, I’m gonna fix some things – may not be totally, but I’ll try. I know this will take time. So, for long, these thoughts shall stop wandering; these thoughts shall not be put into words; these thoughts shall vanish in thin air.

Though my heart would break, I have to bid you adieu. ‘Til next time dear folks!

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Caffeinated Hallucinations

February 15, 2008

I love the company I’m working with. In my entire employment history, I learned a lot of things here.

– i learned basic English and not-so-basic English
– i learned to make a blog [kaya eto, malapit nang maging adik sa wordpress]
– i learned to wake up early in the morning [bawal kasi maLate]
– i learned to ride a jeepney [pwede walang taxi..wala kasing budget]
– i learned to drink coffee [not only a cup, but jars]
– i learned to eat a plateful of rice [nakakagutom kasi..kahit nga sa station, kumakain ako]
– i learned to sleep na nakadilat ang mata
– i learned to sleep kahit nakaupo
– i learned to sleep na hawak ang mouse at keyboard
– i learned to massage myself [kasi hanggang ngayon, monobloc parin ang chair..hehehe! peace!]
– i learned to be patient [sa kahihintay sa bagong chair..lol]
– i learned to drink fit ‘n right [kahit inde naman talaga ako mataba]
– i learned to drink softdrinks [every lunch yan.. kamusta naman ang mga buto ko?]
– i learned to value time [kasi log-in ko, 8:59am and log-out 6:00pm.. mahirap na kasi malate sa pag-log out]
– i learned to work overtime paminsan-minsan [kasi libre ang pagkain.. pati nga pala lunch namin, libre]
– i learned to be thrifty [kasi kukulangin ang sweldo sa isang buwan na bisyo]
– i learned to be loyal [yoko na yata iwan tong kompanyang to.. napamahal na to sakin]

Kaya kayo, you should enjoy what you are doing. I swear, you will forget every little fatigue if you’re happy with your job. Ako, I’ve learned my lesson, ang hirap pala talaga mag-AWOL. Bad record kana, mahihirapan ka pang humanap ng trabaho. hehe.

Kaya like Mcdo, Love ko ‘to. Hindi, bored lang talaga ako. 😐

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Blab in Nanoseconds.

February 14, 2008

I’m not bitter coz I’m not ampalaya. I just want to move on. But you make me feel guilty. Pucha! I can’t help but think that you’re not okay. I thought you were. Really. The moment that you told me everything’s gonna be fine, I trusted you. I even trusted you long before.

Why is it, lately, you’ve been acting so cold? Giatay! Na-guilty na nuon ko. Maybe they were right – that lovers can never be friends after they separated. But you promised we’ll be friends no matter what happens. Dammit. But why do you have to avoid me? Why do you have to activate that incoming calls barring whatever? Don’t you know that you can’t receive calls, and even texts because of that? Pakingsheet.

Fine. Then, we should forget each other. I will forget I know you. I thought you were perfect. I thought. Dah. Suko na nuon ko. I will also delete you in my friendster’s list. Fine, friend’s list. I will erase your number though I actually memorized it. I will erase you in my distribution’s list. You will never receive texts, anyway. Advice nako, ilabay nalang na imung cellphone uy. Or, ipatimbang nalang kaha na? Or, ihatag nalang na nako beh? hehe.

I’m trying to be nice. I am nice. Really. But these things really pissed me off. You know the reasons why I let go. I thought you accepted everything. I thought you understand why. It’s not also easy for me, but I have to accept the fact that things won’t work out just fine. Why would I be in a relationship if I’ll end up being hurt anyway? I’m not yet martyr. I’m not a robot. I’m human, and I have a heart that’ll also bleed. I know being hurt is part of being in love. But it’s too much. Things are bleeding me dry. So, I’m hoping you’d understand. I know that it takes time.

If you think forgetting you [or forgetting me] is the best solution you could come up, then I’ll give you freedom. I can help you. Iparok nato imu ulo para ma-amnesia ka. Sorry if I’m being mean. I just want to know if you’re doing fine. I’m just concerned because, for once, you were a part of me. And, I can’t deny that I’m still in love with you. It was just like almost two weeks, and the wound hasn’t healed yet. Please, it’s Valentine’s day. Let’s forget and forgive. Let’s just not bear grudges. [Mapareha nya ta ni Sadaku sa The grudge.hehe] Let’s face and accept it.

Catherine Ponder once said, “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” Let us free ourselves para way gubot. Para way dugo nga mobanaw! Let’s move on. One step at a time. Forgiveness and letting go are steps on our road back to happiness. Para happily ever after dayon!

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Not even Death…

February 14, 2008

He held her hand tightly like there’s no letting go. They stared at each other’s eye. Muted, they never said a word; not a syllable. Not a blink. The night grew cold and so was her hand. That was the same night when they filled it with warmth – of kiss, of hugs, and of love.

I would never leave you no matter what. His voice trembled like thunders in the pouring rain. Together, we’ll have a family. We’ll see our kids running around that oak tree. We’ll watch them as they gaze upon the beautiful starry sky. His tears ran down his cheeks, and died in his lips.

She never said a word. Her eyes were as beautiful as the stars. They were gleaming and dazzling.

She had always dreamed of having a family of her own. A man who will see her in her depths. A man who will love her in pieces. A man who will make her whole. And, she knew she found that man. That man. He stood right next to her.

Promise me, you’ll never let go. The night was filled with love. I know, my hands, they’re meant to hold only yours. My lips, they’re, meant to kiss only your lips. And my heart, it swears to love no one but you. You will always have my heart.

I won’t. I will always be with you, wherever you are. I will always hold your hand like I always do. I love you even before you knew it. That will never change. Not even death could change it. So shed not a tear. We still have a lifetime after this, where it will be eternal. Her eyes smiled.

She’s gone. She’s gone, holding the hand of the man who stood up with her. She’s gone, but her love never will.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.

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Loathing Session

February 8, 2008

I hate the world today. Red, I hate that color. I hate it when my attendance sheet is reddened. That would mean I am late. Yes, you read it. I’m effin’ LATE. I can already see smokes coming out of my nostrils and ears like train chimneys shouting Choo-choo. I can figure out my face as it creases with rage. A hundred-peso deduction is not okay. Besides, this is the very first time that I am late in my entire employment history.

A lot of “I could have’s” are running through my dim-witted mind. I’m having cranial bleeding, I know. But, it seems that I still want to bang my head off the windshield of the jeepney I don’t want to remember. I could have not taken a bath. I could have not comb my already disheveled hair. I could have not sipped a jar of coffee. I could have taken a cab instead of a jeepney. I could have driven myself to work. I could have killed the passengers. I could have killed the driver. Arrgghhh! I hate the world. I hate the people. If only the driver could have cut the brakes; if only these people could have not competed with me in taking a cab; if only jeepneys were not full; if only the drivers could have not been greedy stopping for passengers who don’t want to ride, I could have arrived in the office an hour earlier.

Now, I’m not in the mood to work. I’m mourning for my bloody 9:04. I’m grieving for my 100-peso deduction. This little wage earner is getting poorer and poorer. Mas pobre pa sa ilagang nasunugan, as what they say. Kill me. I want to rant and rave. Really.

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