Contusion.

July 20, 2008

I am just another false impression.
Nothing extraordinary.
Nothing remarkable.
Someone you would never love.
Someone you would never trust.
Someone you would never want to be with.
And so
This torment is filled with candor.
So, lie to me.
Say you love me once again.
Say you need me one more time.
Lie to me.
Lie.
Such a beautiful lie.
Grief that is tainted with insanity.
Gripping death.
An unloved man.
That’s all that’s left of me, I guess.

Strangled with Agony

January 19, 2008

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Pain doesn’t hurt when it’s all you’ve ever felt.

The time you walked away without saying goodbye felt like a thousand knives stabbing me. My heart bled. My cheeks were flooded with tears. The hand I used to hold has let go. The smile in your eyes fades like smoke in thin air. The warmth I used to feel changes like freezing cold. The room, which once filled with laughter, is now empty with solitude. The blue sky seems grey. The wind seems so cold like winter in summer.

You left without a notice. You left me with nothing but pain, and all sort. You left me wounded, and bleeding. You left me hanging upon a thread. You left me. Yes, you did. And, I can’t ever have you back. I can never feel those warm embraces again. I can never hear your sweet words one more time. All of them dwindled into space. The laughter. The smile. The warmth. The love.

It seems like pain is all I’ve ever felt. But, it doesn’t hurt no more. I’m used to it. My heart; it has been pin-cushioned with needles. Pain is now part of my system. There will always be pain every time I wear a fake smile. Pain is always there every time I speak of beautiful stories. And now that you’re gone, life will be like it was before. Melancholic. Nostalgic. Morose. Now that you’ve let go, my feet will be treading along the shorelines, alone. Solitary. Deserted. Abandoned.

Life has been beautiful and excruciating. I won’t shed a tear no more. I’ve had enough.

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Were

January 10, 2008

Do you want us to be together again? I don’t think I could still cling into that pungent side of yours. You smell like puke on top of your perfume. I loathed the way you held my hand and broke my fingers. I couldn’t take the way you hugged me and took my breath. I hated the way you touched my skin and bruised it all. I despised the way you said “I love you” with all your lies. I abhorred the way you thought who you were and faked it all.

Now, you’re on your knees telling me to love you again? After my heart bled and lost its strength; after I cried a thousand tears; after I tried to be sane yet found myself to be fooler; after I screamed on the top of my lungs; after I was down on my knees just the same way you are now; after you left me with nothing but pain, do you think I could still offer you my heart? Do you think I could still spare these pieces with you? Nah!

Yes, I loved you – LOVED. I was more than insane to believe those sweet words. Words from the tongue of a traitor. I was more than insane to feel the happiness in your presence yet pain is giving such entrapment I couldn’t escape. I don’t want to go back to the same walls I lived in with you – full of agony and resentment. Live your life with the cobwebs of your identity.

Thanks, but I’m wiser and stronger now.

just a thought..

September 26, 2007

A young man was at the beach, sitting on top of a rock that almost wounded his behind. Not minding the pain, he stared at the waves rushing back and forth. He gaped at the lovely sunset, of red orange and some dark hues, his eyes wanting to capture. Some trees by his side stood as if reaching for the cotton-like clouds hovering in the cerulean sky. He intensely felt the breeze as it bore down into his skin and how its coolness sank into his follicles. He wished life would be that easy. No worries. No hurts. No aches. He’d be as light as the feather flown away up, up in the air. No burdens. No problems.

Suddenly, something reminded him of how he was hurt so badly. Like a child, he wanted someone to play with. He reminisced those sepia-colored memories. Memories he once cherished and now left in nothingness. He threw a stone and watched it descended into the deep water, like pain drowned in space. It bruised him even more when he heard the birds singing with joy, leaving him in melancholy. He felt like no one ever sympathizes with him. He felt like he’s been living in lonesomeness all his life.

His throbbing heart went immensely painful. A cold tear fell from his right cheek. He never wiped it hoping the sand could understand his sorrow. He felt so alone and love for him was so cunning. He felt an engulfing darkness. Silence covered his being.

Then, he woke up.