Adrift

February 6, 2008

I have tried wandering around the universe – stepping on meteors, skedaddling with asteroids, or being gobbled up by black holes. I have tried exploring the galaxy – treading millions of light years from ends to ends of Milky Way, seeing creatures in Andromeda, or wheezing like a vacuum cleaner atop satellites.

For the first time, I have felt the warmth of the star; seen its glow at its finest; kissed its smooth arcs with unobtrusive smiles.  For the first time, I have touched solar flares; felt cosmic rays through me; embraced hydrogen balls in their warmest forms. For the first time, I have fondled the warm clouds of Venus; caressed the rings of Saturn; put Pluto back to its orbit. For the first time, I have heard the outburst of Mars’ volcanoes; stroked the curves of Mercury; meandered along the roads of Jupiter. For the first time, I have felt the coolness of the comet, and the coarseness of its dust. For the first time, I have never felt the gravity’s vehemence; its intensifying ire. For the first time, I have gained emancipation from mental slavery; from incapacitating imprisonment; from mind-numbing existence.

For the first time, and the last, I have conquered the universe. And when I opened my eyes , I felt like Earth has been an isolated cubicle of acrid animosity.

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Love, overrated.

January 18, 2008

I don’t wanna lie no more. I don’t wanna fool myself over and over again. So, I want you to know that this is real. Those times when I looked into your eyes without a doubt, I know I need you more than anything else that matters. Those times when we held hands, I know you’ll never let go. Those times when we laughed at silly thoughts, I know I could never be happier. Those times when we spent time together, I know I could never spend such wonderful moment again. Those times when we kept in touch and told how much we missed each other, I know I could never have someone like you again. Those times when we spoke sweet words of loving, I know I could never hear such beautiful words again. Those times when you said you love me, I know I could never ever love someone like you again.

That’s why missing you is an agony, but strengthens my heart to love you even more. A day feels like years, and I long to see those beautiful smile in your eyes. The night seems so long and endless without a word from you. The room seems so empty and stale. The wind seems so cold and painful. It’s as if the only cure is you. Indeed, you. I long to feel those loving embraces. I long to hear your dulcet voice. It seems like melody in the air my heart keeps on memorizing each line you uttered.

“I wanna believe it’s love this time. I wanna believe my heart is not telling me lies; because with you, I can’t deny. If I believe in paradise, I’d swear I’ll be there.”

Those words. Your words. So, now, I told you I love you. I know that’s real. I know deep in my heart. It’s the love no man could fathom. It’s the love no word could ever describe. I want you to know that I’m always here. That, I want to kiss away old hurts. That, I want you to be happier than you’ve ever been before. And, I want you to know that I’m staying. I’ll stand by your side. I’ll hold on to my promises no matter what. I’ll be there for you through it all. That’s why I’m keeping you though this might bruise me. Call it martyrdom. I’ll call it love.

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