Blab in Nanoseconds.

February 14, 2008

I’m not bitter coz I’m not ampalaya. I just want to move on. But you make me feel guilty. Pucha! I can’t help but think that you’re not okay. I thought you were. Really. The moment that you told me everything’s gonna be fine, I trusted you. I even trusted you long before.

Why is it, lately, you’ve been acting so cold? Giatay! Na-guilty na nuon ko. Maybe they were right – that lovers can never be friends after they separated. But you promised we’ll be friends no matter what happens. Dammit. But why do you have to avoid me? Why do you have to activate that incoming calls barring whatever? Don’t you know that you can’t receive calls, and even texts because of that? Pakingsheet.

Fine. Then, we should forget each other. I will forget I know you. I thought you were perfect. I thought. Dah. Suko na nuon ko. I will also delete you in my friendster’s list. Fine, friend’s list. I will erase your number though I actually memorized it. I will erase you in my distribution’s list. You will never receive texts, anyway. Advice nako, ilabay nalang na imung cellphone uy. Or, ipatimbang nalang kaha na? Or, ihatag nalang na nako beh? hehe.

I’m trying to be nice. I am nice. Really. But these things really pissed me off. You know the reasons why I let go. I thought you accepted everything. I thought you understand why. It’s not also easy for me, but I have to accept the fact that things won’t work out just fine. Why would I be in a relationship if I’ll end up being hurt anyway? I’m not yet martyr. I’m not a robot. I’m human, and I have a heart that’ll also bleed. I know being hurt is part of being in love. But it’s too much. Things are bleeding me dry. So, I’m hoping you’d understand. I know that it takes time.

If you think forgetting you [or forgetting me] is the best solution you could come up, then I’ll give you freedom. I can help you. Iparok nato imu ulo para ma-amnesia ka. Sorry if I’m being mean. I just want to know if you’re doing fine. I’m just concerned because, for once, you were a part of me. And, I can’t deny that I’m still in love with you. It was just like almost two weeks, and the wound hasn’t healed yet. Please, it’s Valentine’s day. Let’s forget and forgive. Let’s just not bear grudges. [Mapareha nya ta ni Sadaku sa The grudge.hehe] Let’s face and accept it.

Catherine Ponder once said, “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” Let us free ourselves para way gubot. Para way dugo nga mobanaw! Let’s move on. One step at a time. Forgiveness and letting go are steps on our road back to happiness. Para happily ever after dayon!